12 Dating Things That Start Mattering More in Your Mid-Twenties
Pretty much every woman I know who hasn't been with the same guy for 11 years cringes a little when thinking about their late teens/early twenties era of dating. Luckily, by your mid-twenties, along with staying in when you feel like it and discovering a newfound appreciation for sheet masks and facial moisturizers, you simply stop being able to deal with the same bullshit you used to. Here are 12 things that become more important as you get older:
1. Actually feeling clean at his place. Being able to comfortably use his shower without focusing on the mildew and beard shavings embedded along the edge of the tub is a pleasure no woman should EVER deny herself.
2. Clothes that actually fit him. If he writes off caring about he looks and actually thinks that wearing the same ill-fitting Levis for the past five years is cute, this man is a narrow-minded baby.
3. Ambition and independence. Obviously, emergencies and unexpected layoffs happen, but if it’s been a year since he seriously looked for a job because his parents don’t mind bankrolling his studio apartment while he figures out his art, it’s a major turn-off. Plus, nothing will make you madder than that same guy ordering the $40 prix fixe at brunch when you’re the one covering the tab.
4. Being able to count on his cooking skills (or at least his help in the kitchen). I will die on this hill: there is nothing hotter than a guy who greets you with grilled cheese when you get home late and skipped dinner. And there’s nothing more annoying than a dude who says he’ll cook with you, only to unevenly dice a tomato before getting bored, leaving you with cooking AND clean up duties.
5. Great head-giving ability. Or whatever else gets you off! But the guys who never offer or half-heartedly do it for two minutes just so they can feel ok asking for a 20 minute blowjob are pretty much impossible to justify anymore.
6. Having a sense of humor that meshes with yours. In my early 20s, I dated a guy who not only never made me laugh, but the only time I ever heard *him* laugh was at videos of people falling off of trampolines and getting hurt. Unsurprisingly, we did not last.
7. Planning genuinely creative dates. This isn’t college, and crouching over his smudged laptop screen to watch Netflix does not a date make. A guy having interests and coming up with something fun for you to both do on a Friday night (or at the very least, picking the restaurant) shows he actually looks forward to spending real time with you.
8. Maintaining friendships with legitimately good people. If all his guy friends are intellectually hollow drinking buddies you have to gulp down straight vodka around just to tolerate, imagine how much you’ll hate literally every social gathering your boyfriend invites you to.
9. Verbalizing his problems like an adult. A man who passive-aggressively avoids texting you for days when he’s mad or blows up out of nowhere is pretty much all work and no play. Half your time will be spent taking his emotional temperature and hoping he’s not secretly fuming at you, because he never says so in a mature and normal way.
10. Not going AWOL for three days. Dating a guy you could confidently list as an emergency contact is where it’s at. But also, you completely lack the capacity to deal with three days of no texting followed by “hahah yeah cool."
11. Actively trying to impress the people in your life. Because you have better things to do than worry about your boyfriend being on his phone when your BFF is talking to him or not at least offering to help your mom with the dishes (it doesn’t matter that you both know she’ll say no, just offer!)
12. Clearly being proud to date you. The insecurity that prompts you to date men who never post pics with you and don’t introduce you to their friends thankfully fades with age. Be thrilled to date me or bust.
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