20 things you should never say or do in a relationship
O MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ARE IN LOVE OR FOR HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP, ITS JUST NEVER ENOUGH. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN YOUR LOVE, FAITH, PATIENCE AND BELIEF ARE TESTED TIME AND BEYOND AND IT IS THEN THAT A COUPLE HAS TO MAINTAIN CERTAIN PROTOCOLS TO SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP FROM THE WEAR AND TEAR. WE LIST DOWN A FEW OF THEM FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
1. COMPARE SHEET
Comparing your current relationship to the one in the past is a simply no-go area for any one, be it a male or female. Even if you plan to take things up on a positive note, they would never end into one at least. By just spilling more beans over your past, you are opening up the doors which should ideally be sealed long time ago.
However, what you can always try to do is to learn from your past mistakes and improvise your present relationship. Remember, your ex and past should be access-denied.
2. GENERALISATION, OF ALMOST EVERYTHING
Over generalising your partner about everything would put an unnecessary strain on the both of you. Whenever you shout out loud and say, “you always....", its enough to do the damage and tick the clock in a wrong way. Also, the mere mention of these words would put your partner on the defensive and there are chances that a small argument might turn into a big fight.
Instead you should calm your nerves down and try and tell your partner the kind of impact his actions, words or behaviour have on you. Try and work on it together for better.
3. "YOU HAVE CHANGED"
Complaining your partner about how much he/she has changed would put the light on the wrong spot. It would be as if you are raising fingers at someone's character as against to the deeds, which could rub him/her the wrong way.
Instead try saying something like, "You used to be so playful, considerate, happening..."and just avoid adding any further to the sentence. Just be very sure about your words and attitude. You might never know it, but there are chances that the other person could be hurt or even worse...take the remarks very very personally.
4. NAME CALLING
No matter what the intentions are but any name.....even if you are keeping it for the sake of love, that is hurtful, disrespectful or mocking in any way, should be clearly avoided.
Your partner might never say that to you, but these are things which won't be forgotten or forgiven that easily.
5. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL!
"I don't understand what's the big deal here...." the moment you say those lines, beware! It is obvious that the two people don't think alike but you have to always show respect and consideration towards your partner's feelings, words, observation and even reservations. You cannot take him/her for granted and say things on the face just for the heck of it.
6. "YOUR GRAMMER IS WRONG"
Correcting a partner’s grammar during an argument is like giving them real time feeling of not being at par with you or your excellence for that matter. To put it simply, you are inviting more trouble in the paradise.
7. DON'T THROW CHALLENGES
“Is that all you’ve got?” This comes across as one of the most convenient statements that couple make towards each other, probably not realising that in a way they are challenging each other to hurt their respective partners.
What seems to be a verbal provocation, should never be used or said at any point in time, especially when the temperatures are running high. After all not every argument needs a winner!
8. “YOU’RE SO ##”
Surely this is not one of the best ways of telling your partner that you find certain habits, choices and ideas as unacceptable or weird for your own mini world. At the end of the day, your relationship should be about accepting one with all his/her faults and goodness. And if its change that you are seeking, be vocal about it in a more constructive way.
9. FAMILY CALLING
Never ever compare your partner with that of their parents or yours under any circumstances. This is going to be one of those mistakes for which you would never be forgiven. Therefore, its always a good idea to let the family calling be at bay whenever there's a fight or an argument.
Do remember that parents are the people who deserve all your respect and adulation, no matter what, apart from the emotional bonding that your partner shares with them.
10. "WE NEED TO TALK!!"
Don't make your normal conversations be an open declaration of war. Be nice and humble, even if you have been super pissed and in a terrible mood. Nothing can save the damage of using the wrong words at the wrong time.
In fact, be more forthcoming and ask your partner to have an open conversation by saying, "Can we talk?" in case there are issues that need your immediate attention.
11. "RELAX"
Even if you mean to say this with your best of intentions, there are chances that the moment you will say this word, the other person might get triggered for all the wrong reasons. You may be just rubbing the bush too hard with this....therefore simply AVOID using it.
12. THE SILENT ZONE
Now come on, this would be the worst thing that you would be doing. No matter what the grievances are, never give them more than the required space in your daily chat sessions.
And as they always say, there is nothing that a good conversation can't salvage. It always helps if you just talk out the issues and put things in black and white but be a little considerate and humble. After all the person whom you are talking to is obviously somebody extremely dear to you.
13. “WHATEVER”
Though by the feel of it, it might seem like a harmless word which would simply refer to something not important enough. It might, however, trigger your partner in a wrong way because he/she may presume that you just give a damn to what they are thinking or wanting to do. Try and be more compassionate and loving towards the love of your life.
14. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU DRIVING!
Unless there is an alarming situation for you to react like this, don't go the extreme way. And even if you feel that he/she is being irresponsible while being at the driver's seat, be toned down and correct with the words you intend to say. Also, one who is sitting there and driving with all his/her focus doesn't need your screaming and shouting to make the situation worse.
15. "I EARN MORE THAN YOU"
Always remember nothing hurts more than comparing your financial numbers and the money spilling in your bank accounts, especially when the person you are competing with is your spouse. The statement in itself is extremely cruel and one that can put a situation completely out of control.
16. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING"
Agreed that you can't always be diplomatic with the person you share your life with, but still saying something as rude as ,"You're wearing that?" is highly unacceptable.
Be gracious even with the criticisms and give the other person at least a benefit of doubt. May be he didn't think much over it before picking up for tonight's dinner, may be he is not in a great mood, or may be he just wants me to do the selection for him...whatever it is, be kind and loving.
17. "STAY AWAY FROM MY PHONE"
That's surely outright rude on your part and would also give out a sign that there's something you don't want your partner to be a part of. After all your phone is one device that is closest to you in today's day and age...wherein you store all your personal details and data.
If at all you don't want your man/woman to come any close to that device, something is definitely wrong, either with you or your relationship. Please remember that the lives are best shared and lived when there are no secrets.
18. LET'S CALL IT OFF!
This should be the last weapon when you see there is no probability for the both of you to get back together. However, when you know that the love and desire is still there, don't ever go the forbidden path. Any threat to end the relationship is a straight NO. After all you never get into a relationship to finish one.
19. "I HATE YOU"
Take this advice for lifetime....never, ever, drop the H-bomb since this is one thing which you will never be able to take back. You cannot hate somebody you are in love with. Its outrageously contradicting to your relationship.
20. F*** YOU
Do we even need to say more with a statement as strong as this. This has to be the final nail in the coffin in case you are deciding to call it quits. But if there are any intentions of staying together, then for the sake of your marital bliss, stay away from this expression for as long as possible. And if you ever end up saying it in a fit of rage, then God Bless You!
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